As most offices do on the first Tuesday of November every year, we had a sweep. Two sweeps, in fact - a $2 and a $5 one. I bought one of each, unfortunately pulling the same horse in each one - She's Archie. Our office doesn't have a TV so we just sat around an AM radio in the lunch room eating party pies and sausage rolls till the race started.

Long story short, my horse didn't win. But our office, again like most offices in Australia, has a booby-prize - a kind of wooden spoon for the horse that comes last. I heard my horse's name announced near the end of the race, so sat in hope. Unfortunately the announcers spend all their time extolling the virtues of the three winners and none on the rest of the placings.

In desperation I turn to the Internet. The TAB racing site is under heavy load and cannot service my request, as are all the other betting sites I can think of. The SMH, The Age and The Australian all have articles up in seconds announcing the winning three horses (Makybe Diva won by the way, setting a record as the only horse to have won two consecutive Melbourne Cups) and eludicating on the owner's heart-wrenching account of the horse's recent history, but none would publish the rest of the placings.

Finally the Sydney Morning Herald came through with the results. I had indeed won last place. She's Archie had not let me down. Total outlay - $12 (I also had a $5 bet on Catchmeifyoucan, who doesn't even have it in him to lose well). Total winnings - $21. Net profit.

This is the third time, I think, where I have profited from the losing horse in the Melbourne Cup. May all my choices be the poorest.