There are a few rules I have learned to follow in the interest of being an active participant of a functioning society. Firstly; don't make fun of someone's name or occupation. If you think about it, there is no way what you are about to say will not have been said to them a hundred times before, and in far wittier ways than you are about to. If you ever feel inclined to joke about the aforementioned subjects, jam your vengeful fist into your treacherous mouth before you make an arse of yourself.

Similarly, the topics of politics and religion are minefields that, unless you have something meaningful to add to the sphere of information in which the person you are talking with resides, you are likely accomplishing nothing apart from planting a festering seed of resentment in someone's stomach. You aren't going to change someone's political or religious point of view - let it go.

When I started writing regularly on topics that interested me I was careful not to let politics drown out my general ranting. I have opinions, dammit, but nobody is interested in some guy calling down holy fire on politicians - it's a safe topic usually reserved as the domain of disingenuous observational comedians.

Nevertheless, yesterday I tried to summarise the last six months in U.S. politics from my perspective[1], as a kind of zeitgeist for posterity. It was at this moment I realised that I have almost completely withdrawn my interest in commentating U.S. politics since their elections last November. I've lost much of my interest in commentating because it is impossible not to be cynical and sarcastic about the whole affair, and I'd rather be cynical on my own terms.

So I'll let the Internet breath a collective sigh of relief. So to farewell (temporary, no doubt) my U.S. political interest, part of a eulogy I didn't write[2]:

No way
To recall
What it was that you had said to me
Like I care at all

But it was so loud
You sure could yell
Took a stand on every little thing
And so loud.

[1] I thought I should comment on Alberto Gonzales and Condolezza Rice's new appointments, the departure of Colin Powell and John Ashcroft from the administration, and Bush's inauguration speech, spliced liberally with various witticisms and metaphors. Needless to say, I was correct in my stance in each case, my arguments watertight.
[2] Yes, Tool's Eulogy. One of the finer songs ever written.