I found myself standing in arguably one of the more deservedly maligned nightclubs in Perth, a warming beverage of negligible alcohol content in my hands, trying to regale some new friends. In fact I was speaking to Scroop and a couple of other dudes. Vanilla Ice was playing, so of course Scroop wasn't actually listening but trying vainly to hold himself from 'breaking it down' and impressing us all with his encyclopedic knowledge of 80s rap.

The context is only important in that for a moment a bystander had none of it. I yelled my story and the music lulled for just a moment - long enough for one innocent to cop:

... it doesn't really matter what colour it is if there's a bunch of hair growing around it

I noticed him just in time to see him turn away in confused disgust. I turned back just in time to see Scroop almost spray me with diluted nose-bourbon.

For my own convenience, here are my travel plans, spelled out as clearly as I know how.

All flight bookings are completed. Fool that I am, I booked the flights out of order and couldn't use my Frequent Flyer points (longish boring story.) So that pushed the price up by about $900, dammit.

Funnily enough, Sydney is the only place I have problems with accommodation. The person at whose house I was to be staying is no longer available as they are leaving Sydney soon... so it looks like other arrangements will have to be made.

Total flight costs: $2,751
Total traveling time: 32 hrs 35 mins

Basic plan:

1. 8th Aug - Perth->Sydney
2. 11th Aug - Sydney->Tokyo Narita
3. 25th Aug - Tokyo Narita->London Heathrow

Getting from Perth to Sydney
Departing Tue, 08 Aug, 1225 hrs PER Domestic Terminal 2
Arriving Tue, 08 Aug 1820 hrs SYD Domestic Terminal 3 (3 hrs 55 mins)
Qantas flight # QF0580
Cost: $266.24 (inc $53 tax, $24 GST)

Getting to Tokyo
Departing Fri, 11 Aug, 1420 hrs SYD International Terminal 1
Arriving Fri, 11 Aug, 2045 hrs KUL (Kuala Lumpur) (8 hrs 25 mins)
Malaysia Airline Flight # MH 0122 (747)

Departing Fri, 11 Aug, 2315 hrs KUL
Arriving Sat, 12 Aug, 0725 hrs NRT (Tokyo Narita) Terminal 2 (7 hrs 10 mins)
Malaysia Airline Flight # 0088 (Boeing 777)

Cost: $927 ($642 + $267 tax + 2% cc payment)

Accommodation in Kyoto: http://gh-project.com/e/room.html

Getting to London
Departing Fri, 25 Aug, 1130 hrs NRT Terminal 1
Arriving Fri, 25 Aug, 1620 hrs AMS (Amsterdam, Netherlands) (11 hrs 50 mins)
KLM Flight # KL 0862 (Boeing 777)

Departing Fri, 25 Aug, 1720 hrs AMS
Arriving Fri, 25 Aug, 1735 hrs LHR Terminal 4 (1 hr 15 mins)
KLM Flight # LK 1023 (Boeing 737)

Cost: $1558 (approx $1338 + $193 tax)

NOTES
Send a bunch of stuff over to the UK ( http://exportair.com.au/services.html )
DONE: Get my visa www.visalink.com.au
contact phone: 090 6483 2244
http://www.workgateways.com/working-uk-banking_1st-contact.html
Carla: QF74 arrives 8 Aug 6:05 am

About 10 minutes ago I was waiting for a kebab at my local kebab store. I was in a crew of about 6, 4 of which were guys. The evening had consisted mainly of a beer and wine festival so to say we were all inebriated would be making too little of the situation. This particular kebab store had only one other patron - a 5 foot quiet guy; long hair and pecs out to his nose hairs. He was well built and small.

It should come as no surprise to my friends when I say that I speak way too loudly after I've had a few - it's actually genetic I believe. This particular occasion involved me laughing extremely loudly when the guy walked past - completely unable to leave his arms in a rest state at his sides; he was that damn huge.

Sure, the guy looked ridiculous - bulked up and beautiful. But I feel bad that he heard me laughing at him in front of his girlfriend. That was just me being a tool.

I'm not sure why it was me he singled out - I think everyone at the table was guilty. But it was no less than 30 second later that I found him standing in front of me asking if I had something to say to him, and whether I would like to step outside. I mean it - he was really asking me. Bullying didn't seem to be in him at all. He was there simply because his girlfriend had taken issue with me.

Perhaps it was the absurdity of the situation, or perhaps he just didn't cut an imposing enough figure, but I heartily concurred and followed him out. I even looked back at my crew and said something to the effect of 'now I learn the folly of my overly boisterous ways!' Out front, I stood in front of him and closed my eyes.

Standing face to chest (I may not have mentioned I was a bit taller than him) I realised he was in a tough position. As a tough guy he had no choice but to take me on. As a computer programmer, I had no idea how to take someone on, and no inclination. So I offered him a middle ground. I stuck out my hand and told him I was sorry. I really meant it too - I was sorry he heard me making fun of him; I was sorry that I was the sort of person who would make fun of a guy because of the way he walked. I was sorry he was in a position where he had to challenge a dude he didn't know because he walked funny. Shit like that can really ruin your evening.

Things dissipated after that. Four of my mates were standing behind him and he was built like a 5 foot brick shithouse. Neither of us would have won that fight, and in truth I'd already lost because I was completely in the wrong. I hope his girlfriend was impressed with his show.

Update: the next day I felt much worse about what I tool I was. Poor little bulky dude.

Is Flickr really this powerful?

I just went through my emails, deleting the spam. One was from someone called 'Numbers Carey,' which is probably the most interesting name I've come across in all my many years.

Numbers Carey - the hard-up go-to guy for bank jobs. Lives in a seedy appartment in the basement of a Northbridge night club, running Robin Hood Casino scams. Apparently he also offers accessible home-loans for people from Circumstances.

Are my opinions adequately represented in the online comic book world?

I think so!

Ryan North from Dinosaur Comics shares my opinion on Intelligent Design in schools, presented in comic form! T-Rex saves me the hassle of moving this particular opinion to another media...

Suckered.

On the weekend I found myself standing in Dick Smiths with a brand new power supply for my computer and a receipt for $100 + $16 2 year extended warranty. A 2 year extended warranty!

As if I'll be able to find the reciept now, two days after purchasing the fucking thing - I cannot possibly imagine myself taking a part back after the regular one year warranty has ended...

I have no idea what came over me - stupidity strikes even the most wary.

I've recently noticed that Dilbert suddenly sucks. And I think I can narrow down a large part of the difference...

Generally, each strip was a basic double whammy... the joke proper, then some sarcastic little joke in the last panel that really made the strip.

Now each strip is a simple set-em-up, knock-em-down formula that is totally lifeless and crap.
So this is me marking the month Dilbert died. I'm sure something happened with the writers or something, because I refuse to believe that I used to find such inane observational humour funny. Looks like it's just me, Achewood and Penny Arcade now.

2005-06-06: Wow. Check this out, if you need more proof that Dilbert has become a created-by-committee comic.

I am helping Director Bob make a movie set in WWI. We spent all of Saturday constructing war trenches, and the end result far exceeded my expectations (though they are far from finished - I'll put photos up when I get home.) Now I can't help feeling that while we have some awesome war trenches set up, we should record a whole crap load of additional stuff in it. I know I'll be taking lots of cool photos...

I came across http://cryingwhileeating.com/ today, and want to take some footage of myself eating a banana crying about some trivial thing, in the middle of a war. Here's the conversation:

paul: those were all sent in by people
Bob: great! I'm going to send one in!
paul: awesome
paul: how about we record me crying in the trenches eating a banana
paul: ill be crying because i cut my finger or something
paul: hehehe
paul: and wearing a soldier helmet
Bob: What is he eating: Canarvan Banana Why is he crying: Watched his buddy die face down in the mud
paul: hehe
paul: no, thats the whole point! you see, im crying because of some inane little thing, among the war and death. its UNEXPECTED!
Bob: Why is he crying: He doesn't like bananas
Bob: What is he eating: Chicken sandwich Why is he crying: Saw his parents boning
paul: hehehe... glandular problem
paul: hehe
paul: forgot to bone before leaving home
paul: not enough privacy in the trenches
paul: coming to terms with not having any whole-egg maionnaise in the trenches
paul: left the oven on
Bob: hehe
paul: has worms
Bob: got a piece of dirt in his eye
paul: electric toothbrush ran out of batteries
Bob: kicked his toe on a table leg
paul: someone dissed him on the internet
Bob: haha
paul: hehehe
Bob: can't maintain an erection any more
paul: every time i think of a situation now i think of it in the trenches of ww1
paul: hehe
paul: why hes crying: he's a girly pansy
Bob: it makes it four and a half times cooler
Bob: Why he's crying: They're remaking Akira
paul: justin timberlake married britney spears
paul: hehe
paul: AOTC sucked
paul: oh wait, thats been done
paul: his mate gave him a bowl haircut
Bob: hehe
Bob: His buddies think his mum is hot
paul: his buddy told him he boned his mum

hehe. I guess you had to be there...

Bob recently told me how often he reads Drawn!, and because he's such a nice guy I thought I'd do him the favour of reading it more frequently myself.

Anyway, I got a pump of consumer-driven excitement just now when I scanned an article on said site about Michel Gagné, because his art fucking rocks (though before now I'd only ever associated him with the Insanely Twisted Rabbits, it appears he had artistic creative roles in The Iron Giant and the unbelievably awesome Clone Wars cartoons.) As a mind-blowing bonus, I noticed his site is promoting Flight, a comic compilation I'd heard about via Kazu Kibuishi's site Bolt City, of which I've been a long time admirer.

I love the work of both of these artists. I've heard many times that the mark of a professional is making their job look easy, and these guys hold true to that. Just witnessing their work not only puts you in their world, but makes you want to make your own twisted world, and they make it seem within your reach.